Fear of Death
Every living creature, humans included, carries a gene that causes them to avoid situations that may bring about their demise. In other words, nobody wants to die. While this is universally true, people diverge in the intensity of their fear of dying. If we examine a large group of people we find the normal distribution of fear of dying. Most people don't want to die but that is not an issue that occupies their thinking on a daily basis. Of course when they encounter a dangerous situation they become fearful. A small percentage is overly daring.
Since many of them have no fear of death they tend to take dangerously risks. A small percentage is overly cautious. Since many of them fear death they tend to avoid situations that they perceive are very dangerous such as flying or very high places,
In my professional work, I have encountered many people whose fear of dying was extreme. When I began working as a Clinical Psychologist, I did not know how to help them. To my chagrin, I could not find help in the professional literature either. Then I came upon an article explaining how the Samurai warriors overcame their fear of dying (Samurai were warriors in old Japan, coming mostly from the higher class and were admired for their courage). The article explained that the Samurai employed an imagination technique, whereby they were imagining
themselves dying in a variety of possible ways: by sward in a fight, by falling off a galloping horse, drowning, fire or committing suicide by Hara-kiri. They would practice running the scenarios in their imagination again and again, until the thought of dying stopped frightening them.
Since I knew the power of imagination, I decided to use it in this context with the proper modifications to our modern era and to the personality of each individual. From my experience in treating children and adults who suffer from fear of death, I learned that it is important to examine the triggers that invoke that fear. Is the fear emanating from a sense of powerlessness to handle a dangerous situation such as a car accident, a terrorist bomb, a medical operation, or is it a fear of death itself? In case the fear is caused by an event that is conceived as dangerous, I developed an approach to direct the person to use his imagination for a positive outcome. In the chapter
"Visualization"
I outline methods of dealing with human or super human powers in accordance with the threatening cause.
Following are four stages I utilize to deal with patients who suffer fear of death itself:
Being convinced that eternal life is illogical.
When the world was created by God, or whoever is responsible for the universe, they faced the choice of granting all living creatures (including humans) eternal life. But since it was obvious that population density would have been intolerable and food supply not sufficient, it was decided to allocate different life expectancy to each animal.
Only after my patients accept the fact that longevity is limited, I suggest to imagine that they have the power of controlling the following three aspects of their death:
The power to control the age at death.
Make believe that all humans have the power of controlling the age at death. In such a case, when they reach that age, they have to accept their death, without objection. When the decisions of my patients were grossly illogical (like over 100) they were asked if they could accept the fact, that by that age most of their friends, relatives and close family would be dead and they will spend a long time in mourning and loneliness. My experience shows that most of my patients accept to live till 90-95 years old.
The power to control the quality of life till death.
Only after my patients, who fear death, choose the age they will accept death without objection, I suggest to make believe that they have two more choices:
To live in good health (physically and mentally), till the day of death.
To deteriorate gradually till that day.
Most of my patients, who were presented with these choices, elected the first choice.
The power to decide how death will occur.
Only after my patients, who fear death, decide if to die healthy or sick, I suggest them to imagine they have a choice how death
will occur. There are many causes of death. In my experience, most people elect to die during sleep, very few choose to die while having sex. One of my patients, who was a very daring person, imagined he was living in an assisted living facility. When he reached the age that he accepts death, a fire breaks out and he rushes in to rescue his neighbors. He spots an old lady who cannot escape on her own. He imagined carrying her out then collapses dead.
In my experience with treating patients who suffered from fear of death, those who utilized their imagination to go through these stages, had overcame their fear of death relatively quickly.
People of various ages, who suffer from fear of actual death, generally, tend to have a personality more cautious than their peers. Since “knowledge is power”, it eases for self-acceptance and for positive coping with fear of death, reading of the chapter
"Cautious vs. Daring" is recommended.